Wide Awake Once More

Yesterday (Tuesday) night I didn’t sleep very well, well actually I didn’t sleep at all until 6.30am for a whole 2 hours – despite having gone to bed at a reasonable hour. I spent the whole night just laying there, tossing and turning, stressing about all the things that are going horribly wrong for me – and those that might yet turn that way. I know I should look on the bright side, the things that are going my way – but right now the bad very definitely outweights the good.

It’s 02:32 Wednesday night/Thursday Morning and I tried to go to bed a while ago. It didn’t work. Once again I lay there, staring at the ceiling, listening to the world outside. So much crap on my mind keeping me up, and I have to be up in about five and a half hours – fresh faced, smiling and seemingly happy to face the world.

I was laid there, and am now sat here in the dark of my living room, lit only by my ThinkPad stressing about stuff I really don’t have any control over – as much as I’d like to. There’s the HUGE issue currently standing in my way to getting close to certain people, which I hope to resolve soon, but wouldn’t put money on it. I’m even worrying about my upcoming trip to Amsterdam. Will it go smoothly? Will it be fun? I’ve had a really odd feeling about this trip all week, could be down to miscommunication – or just a side effect of my other stressful issues. I just want it to be fun, easy going and with no worries, stress or complication. Fingers crossed.

I’m going to log off and shut down now, I’m not ready to go to bed, but I find it easier to worry in the dark. So I’ll stay on the sofa for now.

Insomnia VI

~ by youbrokemytaco on July 26, 2007.

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