Disconnected
I’m totally lost. I have no idea what to do, what’s going to happen, or why anything is happening at all.
There’s a huge pile of shite coming down on me later this week, Thursday to be precise – and I don’t know what to do or say. I just want to scream but I know it’d make no difference, I want to go and buy myself some gadgets to cheer up but I may not be able to get at them after Thursday and it’d be a waste of money. I’ll shortly have no job, which means no money – which is also frankly just super. I feel like i’m letting so many people down, and I don’t expect to retain any/many throughout and after this ordeal.
What I really want is to have some friends around me, to take my mind off of things. But I really don’t have that many to be honest, I haven’t done for ages. I cleared my MSN list down the other day from 62 contacts to just 17, only 5 of those I’d call ‘real friends’. I’d speak to those people, and ask for some support and comfort but they’re going through their own stuff that happened at the weekend (which it isn’t my place to comment on).
I just want to go to sleep tomorrow night, and not wake up Thursday.
Musings, and moanings of a misguided man 
oh my god
ok, priority is you, number 1 – you may feel that you are letting someone down, but they should be able to see that you have your own issues at the moment – if they are decent friends, they should understand – if they don’t, ask yourself do you still want to be friends?
if you want someone to chat to call the samaritans – 08457 909090 – you don’t need to be suicidal to call them, they’re fantastic listeners
{hug}